The Most Efficient Way to Create Change is Frequency First
Why You Are Holding Yourself Back (And It's Not What You Think!)
What does it mean to hold ourselves back? Why does this happen?
Some of the primary reasons this happens is:
For protection and defense;
To serve you in some way, to keep you safe, loved, secure, connected.
This program is an adaption, created to adapt you to your environment, to create harmony in response to conflict you may have experienced as a child or adolescent.
What does being held back look like? Some ways this may show up for you are:
Procrastination or shaky time management;
Feeling lost, having lack of clarity that is insatiable;
Not taking action or not taking risks;
"Bad" decision making;
Self-Sabotage
Staying overly busy
Chronic sickness or physical manifestations that take you away from moving forward
Creating a reality that stops you from moving forward
These parts of us, these adaptive identities - also known as subpersonalities - hijack our psychological functions - our thinking, feeling, imagination, body/sensations, impulse/desires, and intuition - how we experience the world.
So the key will be to be as aware, conscious, awake as possible.
What can you do to breakthrough holding yourself back?
Awareness: identify the part of you holding to back.
Acceptance: accept it with love; accept the past, take the wisdom; see it with neutrality.
Ask: ask it what it needs; why are you here? Why did I form this belief? Why would I hold myself back, what happens if I don’t stop myself? What can I provide to myself now in a healthy and balanced way?
Attention: create a relationship with this part of you. Keep developing your awareness and learn how to train your attention. Notice who is making the decisions and taking action- from the limited part of you or from your adult se
Action from Integration: what’s the quality? How can this be integrated? Take action from this space, from the both and, not the either or.
This is a lifelong process.
When you dive in, have lots of compassion and love. Remember to thank this part of you for it's service. It's probably been working overtime.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into the subpersonalities, my subpersonality deep dive may be what you need. You’ll get clarity and what you need to integrate this so you move from unconscious programming to conscious living.
What I'm Doing About the Corona Virus (My Spiritual and Energetic Strategy)
A LOT is happening in our world, isn't it?
Seems like the entire world is shutting down - conferences, schools, whole countries - shutting down in reaction to this virus that seems to have invaded our species.
My first reaction with all the traveling I did in the past few months was FEAR.
Fear every time someone coughed near me.
Fear of catching the virus and then bringing it home to my kids.
Fear of my parents coming down with it.
Fear of DEATH.
And then after sitting with it, knowing it was all on purpose and happening for me, I got to use the experience to process the fear I had inside that had been there all along.
Because the truth is - this virus is also part of the Universe. It is a part of nature - a a part of us. It is also something we are on some level co-creating to move us all forward globally in our evolution and shifting of our collective consciousness.
And the fear we feel is a reason why we are co-creating this reality in the first place.
Fear holds us down, it holds us back.
Fear lowers our vibration, it is an illusion of disconnection or separateness from the whole Universe.
Fear is us forgetting that we are not in the Universe, we ARE the Universe, that we are not only connected to all but we are ONE with all.
Fear is us believing we are separate human beings, with only our flesh and strength to rely on.
It is us forgetting we have the WHOLE UNIVERSE to rely on - infinite intelligence, wisdom, power, energy, CREATION.
We are not victims, we are Creators.
And so this virus is an opportunity - because as you know, there are no mistakes in the Universe. And all challenges, blocks, obstacles are opportunities in disguise. And I am saying this with the utmost compassion and love for those who have already been adversely affected and will be affected by this - because based on the projection - we will all be affected in some way.
And so we can remain in fear. Let it lower our vibration where we become a vibrational match for the virus, thus becoming a susceptible host.
OR
We can use this opportunity to alchemize our fear, come back to wholeness and remembrance.
There is a deep knowing within me that believes that the Earth is cleaning house.
There have been many spiritual masters and prophets who have been talking about the age we are in as a transition.
The Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age
3D to 5D
The world and the Earth shifting consciousness for a massive evolution. My spiritual mentor has been telling me for the past 2 years that this would be happening in 2020. Astrologists and historians have stated that we are in a transition from one 4000 year cycle to another 4000 cycle, where we are moving from the masculine to feminine intelligence. Where we are moving into simultaneous cycles of collective shifts into compassion and oneness.
Similar to the way our body reorganizes itself from and with disease in order to shift it's own consciousness, I believe the Earth is like our greater body. It is not a surprise to me after seeing all of the ecological and geological disruptions we have been experiencing. There was only a matter of time that Life would reorganize itself after being destroyed and desecrated for so many decades.
And so, this is how I am relating to this virus:
1. I am meditating every day - keeping my vibration high, staying connected to Source and nature, staying connected with the natural flow of the Universe. It’s imperative to stay centered, to be the change we wish to see in the world. Stay connected to your values, to who you’re committed to being. These events tend to bring out the survival and primal side of us.
2. I am practicing self care, slowing down. We are still technically in the Winter season where slowing down and stillness are part of the natural rhythm. By slowing down, creating space, we let Life breathe and live through us. Life will tell you what to do, how to stay safe, where to move. Be still. Pay attention.
3. I am not holding back on love. I don't know how this is going to affect those I love and so now is not the time to have grudges and limits. For me, it's about making sure I squeeze the hell out of every moment, interaction and making sure the people around me know how much I love them.
4. I am sending love to the virus (I know it sounds crazy, but just hear me out). The virus is just a part of nature. It is information, energy. It is not here intentionally hurting us, it only knows unconditional love, and it replicates, and lives without knowing anything else. What I know is that I've been able to create miracles in my life by loving what I fear, by shifting how I feel about the creation.
A great tool to use here is the H'opoponopono - I'm Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You and I Love You.
5. I am working on seeing the gift of all of this. That if this is happening, it must be necessary for our evolution. Maybe the virus contains energy and information the world needs to shift us out of where we are? Maybe because the virus is affecting the ENTIRE world, we will finally see we are ONE race, one humanity? Maybe this will bring you closer to your loved ones, force you to rest, slow down and connect?
This is how I see the world. It brings me peace. And when I AM Peace, I can hold Peace for others. I hope this brings you some peace in these uncertain times.
- M
Is Your View on Manifesting Limited?
The world has been on my mind lately. So much happening right now, I can't think of anything else. Maybe it's because I'm a parent, and I can't help but feel like it's my duty as a parent to do something. I see the faces of my beautiful, innocent children and I think about the world they may inherit.
The desecration of our beautiful home, our planet Earth, leaves me feeling like what will be left for them? Will their kids ever see the life and animals we have been so blessed to see? Or will they be told in myths and parts of stories as we smile and remember only in our memories what this life once looked like.
The way we treat each other - through privatized incarceration and systems, they way the world treats our women, our mothers, our children - if this is happening now, what will it be like, if we remain apathetic, in 20-30 years?
We are the most distracted we have ever been.
We are the most disconnected we have ever been.
We are the most divided we have ever been.
Most of us will not become activists. We will not stand in front of political offices or detention centers and protest.
Most of us will not dare try to break apart the systems, redefine our society constructs that have taken away our innocence, divide us and keep us small, and has made the world into something so unrecognizable.
What is left?
We can do nothing. Continue our daily lives. Distract ourselves with alcohol, shopping, watching TV, scrolling social media like robots while we wait for the next season of something as if the world isn't crumbling down around us.
We can do something, from exactly where we are.
I believe in energy and manifestation. I believe in our power to observe things into reality. I believe we are the Universe, that all is connected - you, me, the earth, ALL is one and one is ALL.
I believe if we believe enough in this power, we can alter the trajectory we are on just with our mind and bodies.
WHY NOT?
There are NO exceptions to the Universe. Not the President, not the systems, not the people, not the endangered animals, not the ozone layer, not the oceans, not the plastic in the oceans, not the immigrant children, NOTHING is an exception to the Universe.
This means, EVERYTHING is within our reach, within our power.
So let's start from the beginning.
Is your definition of Manifestation limited? If it is, we need to correct this because THIS IS YOUR POWER.
Don't worry, I've got a video to share for this. All it takes is 7+ minutes of your time.
The Future of the Human Race Depends on You
In the past few years, we have begun to see a shift in our planet. Whether you are a believer of Global Warming or not, the events that have taken place around the world are undeniable. From the egregious poor decision-making being made on our behalf, the apocalyptic weather the entire world is experiencing and how we treat each other has had me concerned, hopeless, angry, and overwhelmed.
We are in the midst of a Great Turning, a time where we are being asked to step up and protect our beautiful planet.
Here is what I do know:
We are powerful. Each of us individually and even so as a collective. I believe if we all knew the magnitude of what we all are individually capable of, we would not be experiencing this, right now. I know this because if we were all awakened to our power, that would mean we would all be at a higher vibration, which means we would be more compassionate, loving, intuitive… One. And we are everything BUT One.
We are more powerful as a collective. I don’t think I have to explain this one.
We need to start thinking about the future. It’s about holding the vision for both the now and the future. Having bifocal vision. I get to still enjoy my life, and live for today, but I also get to desire to enjoy the future. It’s hard for many to do this because most of the world is chronically distracted and unconscious.
We need to start developing younger generations for the future. Are future generations prepared for what the world will be? What will be needed of them? What skills, knowledge, tools, self-belief will they need? This is more than leadership. It’s survival.
We need to accept what is happening, so we can begin to help in the creation of a new world. It’s exactly as it is, therefore it’s exactly as it should be. The more we get upset at the content of our reality and that it exists, then we waste time and precious energy. It just is. Now what’s the next step? What do we want to see? Who do we need to be in order for this to happen?
We need to recognize that we are ONE human race. We are stuck in an ancient tribal mental program of distinct, separate entities with differences. Groups. Stereotypes. Races. Conditions. Diseases. Diagnoses. Bias. Separation. We are all the same. One Human Race? Am I crazy? Am I the only one that sees this? Why are we still fighting within ourselves, when the world is in such peril?
We need a healthy planet in order to SURVIVE. Hellooooo! Anyone out there? As I scroll through social media, I see majority of the collective focusing on the Now. Today. Maybe next year. But all focuses are cocooned into a small box of a very individualized personal reality. What affects me that I can see in my immediate reality - an individual Universe. We need to think bigger. I see most of the population relying on someone else to solve the problem for everyone.
As a mother of two, I worry for them. I’m all about let’s enjoy and live and focus on the Now but who will be the advocate for the future? Who will advocate for future generations? We have so much freedom, so much beauty, so much aliveness NOW, how do I know it will be this way 30 years from now?
As the voice within me gets louder and louder - all arrows pointing to this spot- the future of our human race - I can’t help but think about what part I will play in this new evolution of the world we know today. I have started to shift my teachings to a more expansive scale. I have asked myself - what will the planet need generations to come, how can I contribute that will provide the greatest impact? And I just let the Universe lead the way..
So I am here now, writing this because I could no longer stay quiet. I know there are some of you out there feeling the same way. We are powerful, and more powerful together. If you read this and feel something within you, listen to it.
I’d love to hear any ideas you have about what we can do!
How to Forgive Someone When They Have Hurt You
Forgiveness is by far one of the most powerful vehicles of healing I have ever experienced. I have seen it's incredible effects firsthand in myself, my clients, my family, my community. Forgiveness is more for you than it is for the other person. Here is why:
When we hold onto something someone did, or something we experienced that we believe was hurtful and we don’t fully process it - it remains in the body. This emotion creates blockages and resistance and can manifest into pain and chronic disease. It becomes the lens from which we see the rest of the world, it affects who we are and how we show up and interact on a moment to moment basis. If it affected you enough, you may even have a whole worldview that has developed because of this past experience, or a self-limiting identity that has been formed in response to this past experience. And because the emotion is energy, it will continue to attract experiences like the one that hurt you over and over again, so that it will trigger a release.
If you've found yourself here, then maybe it's time to let it go. Forgiveness is not the same as being a doormat. It is not putting down boundaries or letting people walk all over you. Forgiveness is releasing the energetic/emotional charge related to the event or experience, it is accepting it as part of your creation, it is embracing the gift, the growth and letting love emerge. Once you forgive, you may experience a release of energy, as well as a change in your circumstances. The Course in Miracles calls this a miracle because you have shifted from fear to love.
Forgiveness is something I have learned to do naturally and I am motivated to forgive easily because of what I have seen can happen.
Watch this week’s video for my personal process for forgiving:
Accept the experience as if you have chosen it. You are the creator of your reality. Once you can get that you created this, and on a Higher Self level - chose this as an experience in your life's journey - it will be easier to accept. There is something that needed to be gained from this experience. This may be hard to swallow at first, especially if you experienced pain or trauma from the situation. This is the basis of how we move from the first stage of spiritual growth to the second stage - moving from blame to responsibility.
See the gift. There are no mistakes in the Universe. Did it make you stronger? Did you grow from it? Did you gain knowledge or empathy? Was there a gift? Did this event lead to something good in your life? Sometimes the blame or the pain blinds us from seeing the Truth. As you begin to accept the situation you will be able to appreciate it and this is you opening up your heart. Sometimes adding a heart-opening meditation with this exploration can be helpful. Try this meditation
See it with compassion. As you begin to appreciate the situation or person, your heart will begin to see why perhaps this happened, why this person acted in this way - and why it's safe to let go. A way to find compassion is to break through the judgment and find the connection - see the mirror between you and the other person. What did they do and have you ever done anything similar or are you doing it presently in some similar but different way? Find the connection. See that the other person is you.
Holding on to grudges does not align with having an extraordinary life. If you want to live your best life, then you must raise yourself to a certain vibration. Resentment and emotional blocks do not serve you or support you in attaining this. You will only attract who you are being - so if you want a life you love, be love. Use the power of forgiveness.
My Journey Through Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness
As an introvert, I have struggled with social anxiety my whole life. There are still times that I have a physical reaction when I walk into a function by myself and have to calm myself down.
For awhile, I suffered from panic attacks and even sudden feelings of paralysis when being called on, when going to social functions especially if I was walking into the function late, and people were already present. I had challenges speaking to people face to face, making eye contact, and of course public speaking.
I used to think I was weird, and that something was wrong with me because most of my friends were social butterflies and I was the quietest person in the room. I even remember hearing from others once they got to know me, that they thought I was a bitch and unapproachable upon first impression - which of course was not the case - I was just terrified!
I went as far as declaring I didn't need relationships at one point in my life because it was easier for me to be alone than to go through the process of meeting new people and making friends
After becoming an entrepreneur, and seeing how my social anxiety and shyness was hurting me, I decided to work towards changing my story.
I learned to cope using strategies I learned along the way, practicing daily and making it one of the most important things in my life.
Once I started focusing on it, my threshold increased tremendously so I got anxious less, I started connecting and allowed myself to seen, which led to more authenticity, led to more success, and eventually achieving my lifetime goal of speaking on a TEDx stage.
Anything is possible when you put your mind to it.
If this resonates with you in any way, then you'll enjoy today's video on Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness, where I share the things I personally did in order to move past it in my own life. You’ll learn what I did to get a handle on my own personal social anxiety.
Here are some of the tips I discuss in the video:
Call it what it is - Anxiety is just energy. It's a temporary experience and it is NOT who you are. This is probably the most important step. It is realizing to accept the experience as it is, and changing how WE feel about it - in essence changing how our own relationship to the anxiety and the situation itself. Once you can shift how you feel about it, you can reclaim your power from both the internal and external experience. You are timeless, unchangeable like the blue sky - with emotional storms, and clouds and sometimes rain. You are the Universe.
Mental Practice. Visualization is a powerful and scientifically proven tool that has been used by both the corporate and professional athletic world to get ahead. Visualization is so powerful because your brain doesn't know the difference between what you are imagining and real life. Your brain and body fires off as if you are truly having the experience! This is a game changer because you can put yourself in front of this situation over and over again and mentally practice as if it is really happening. You can learn new skills such as playing an instrument, or build on an existing skill. You can even build on an internal quality such as confidence or a personality trait - just by thinking and imagining alone. This results in a building of your confidence and trust that you handle it, allowing you to show up in real life as if you've done it a hundred times. And you can do it all from the comfort and safety of your home. Try experiencing the social situation from a place of confidence and security. How would it go? How would it feel?
Breathe. Breathing is a powerful way to connect to the present moment because it is always happening in the present. Breath is also happening via infinite intelligence - meaning, you don’t actually have to do anything to breathe, it is happening for you. This Connect to your senses - sight, sound and touch - to get you instantly grounded and back to the here and now, and out of your mind. Remember, the faster you can get back into the present moment, you will realize the impermanence of the situation and that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Meditate. Meditation is such a powerful tool. It not only keeps the anxiety at bay, it helps develop your self-awareness so that you can disengage yourself from automatic physical and emotional reactions that might trigger you. Start with 3 minutes a day and watch how your life transforms.
Create the Opportunity to Practice. You are the Creator of your reality. Your life is a perfect opportunity to practice. Start with small steps. Raise your hand next time you have the opportunity to speak up. Smile or say hello at a stranger when you see an opportunity. Speak to someone in line when you’re at the grocery store, or say thank you when someone holds the door for you. All it takes is a few words here and there, and you’ll see yourself getting more confident, more comfortable and less anxious.
Let me know how it goes and if you have any questions! Leave me comment!
How to Meditate- Why It May Not Be Working For You!
Someone once asked me - "If you could leave your children with one thing, what would it be?" My answer was, MEDITATION. Today, I am going to tell you my best practices and how to meditate because meditation is by far hands down the MOST powerful tool I have ever practiced. Sure, meditation is great for stress, and has tons of health benefits - but that's not why I do it. I do it because it develops something within the brain called, Awareness. Awareness is the ability to disengage from automatic behaviors and live from the present moment in a conscious, intentional way. Awareness allows us to see the unseen, feel and sense beyond our physical realm and tap into our psychic abilities such as intuition.
Meditation has an infinite ROI, so if you haven't started yet, now is your chance! In this video I discuss best practices when beginning a meditation practice that I have found to be very beneficial in all my years meditating and teaching others to do the same. Here are some of the tips I discuss in the video:
Choose the Meditation that works for you. Not every meditation is created equally. If you are just starting, I do not suggest starting with a silent meditation practice. The space of stillness may create more thinking and more anxiety for you. I would suggest starting with one of the following: a guided meditation where someone is guiding you through the process; a meditation using a mantra, where you focus all your attention on the mantra; or a physical practice such as yoga or kundalini where you are using your movement during the meditation - again, something to focus your attention on while you train your mind. Once you begin building your meditation muscle, you will be more comfortable with sitting in silence because your relationship to your thoughts will have changed.
Start small. This is a new habit you are beginning, so plan to succeed by starting small. Begin with 3 or 5 minutes rather than burning yourself into the ground with an hour or 30 minutes. You want to do this daily so make sure whatever you choose it is sustainable for your schedule.
Schedule it. Use whatever tools work for you - your planner, your phone calendar - but schedule it. You won't need to do this forever but as you begin to fit this into your schedule and create the discipline, using technology like a meditation app or a calendar tool could be helpful. Give yourself enough time and do it at a time of the day where you're not rushing. Provide yourself the space to sit longer if you feel called to.
Accept that you will think. You are going to think. Accept it. It's what the brain does. Again, it's all about your relationship to the thoughts themselves. If it bothers you that you think - explore and work through this. If you get anxious when you think - then explore the feeling and the circumstance that is pulling you. Neutralize yourself and allow yourself to have the exact experience it is having. Even if that means the kids are crying or the dog is barking. Remember, no mistakes in the Universe. Accept that you created this moment, appreciate the incredible power you have, acknowledge the thought and create a new thought pattern. Then return to the meditation. It will get easier I promise.
Commit to a daily practice and have compassion for yourself. This is a journey within itself. Just believe you can do it, be in a good space of mind, provide yourself with a supportive environment and stay committed. Something that was helpful for me when starting was to do a 21 or 40 day challenge. It would force me to meditate no matter what time of the day it was and I was able to create the practice I wanted.
You have everything you need. You are powerful beyond measure, all you have to do is get your mind to believe.
Let me know what meditations are your favorite or pop in and tell me how you got started on the journey. I’d love to hear from you!
Sending you lots of love and presence today!
xo
Monica
How to Visualize What You Want {New Video}
Visualization is an incredibly powerful tool that is underutilized by everyday people. Corporations and professional athletes use it to get their wins and we can do it too.
Visualization can be used in anything and only takes a few minutes and some imagination to complete. Here are some reasons why you should start visualizing and make it into a daily practice:
As the creator of your reality, you get to create the life you really want and desire. This happens through your mind (your thoughts) and body (your emotions/feelings). The life you are currently experiencing is one that was created based on your thinking. Change your thoughts, change your life. Your current thinking comes from past conditioning, and what felt most important. Neural pathways were created, and now you experience yourself as a habitual reaction to your life. With 60 to 70 thousand thoughts a day, and all creating some part of your reality, why not intentionally use it for good!
It’s free and doesn’t take very long to do. You have every thing you need to visualize- you just need your mind! Create space for it every morning, before you start your day. Sit quietly for a few minutes and set your timer for 5 minutes.
Visualization is a manifestation tool that can help you intentionally create what you want to see and experience. Close your eyes and think about how you want your day to go. Think about how you want your year to go. Think about how you want a certain conversation to go, or maybe how you’ve found the love of your life. Maybe it's a certain outcome or change of circumstances. Maybe it's a result you've been seeking, or how you want a conversation to go - anything can be imagined. Anything can be visualized. All you have to do is see and feel it. And guess what, the more you practice, the better you get at it. If you feel any resistance to this, you don't believe it to be true, you don't believe the content you are trying imagining to be true, remember, it's just your mind - its a program. Your mind is a walking artifact. It is supposed to store part information - it's part of your biological makeup. Just don't believe in the story. Just believe in the truth. You are powerful and can make shit happen with just your mind. Then, sit with the resistance and ask it what it needs from you right now. Why is it here? It is a part of you - one that was probably created to protect you or keep you safe. Have compassion for yourself, and go back to the visualization.
Visualization is a scientifically proven tool - which is why corporations and athletes use it so much. Your brain doesn't know the difference between what you are imagining and real life. Your brain and body fires off as if you are truly having the experience! Try experiencing the situation from the place you want to see it. If you could choose how it is going to go, what would it look like? What would it feel like? And what has happened because of it? Feel it to be true. You have everything you need. You are powerful beyond measure, all you have to do is get your mind to believe.
Watch my video on visualization and I’ll walk you through a real one!
Let me know how it went. What did you visualize? What did you experience or see? Write it in the comments below, I’d love to hear about it!
Sending you power and presence this week!
xoxo
M
How to Set Intentions and Manifest this Year!
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
Intentions are the seeds of manifestation. They are the decisions we make about what we want, that ultimately manifests into our reality.
The Law of Attraction and Quantum Physics say that we create our reality with just what we think about our life, ourselves and others. This is happening regardless of whether you believe it or not. If you don't know what I'm talking about, slow down during the day and pay attention to the contents of your life. See if you can find the connection between your thoughts and how you feel.
It has been scientifically proven in some of the most historical experiments known to man, that our individual consciousness affects the greater or objective consciousness. We actually create it... with our mind.
So... if this is true, why are we not leveraging this power as a collective in every thing we do? When we leverage this power, and we begin to make conscious, intentional choices, this is called intentional living.
Watch this video to learn how to plant intentions into your life, as well as best practices so you can begin to manifest intentionally.
Here are some of the tips I discuss in the video:
Get clear. What do you want for your life? Start with what you currently see in your life, what you want more of, what the Universe is sending you already or seems to be flow, what makes you feel good. Take note. From there, decide what seeds need to be planted. What kind of words need to be said, what thoughts need to be thought?
Set Your Intentions. These can be words or statements. Make sure they are stated in the positive and in present tense.
Examples of How to Set Intentions: I am Abundant. I am worthy and deserving of abundance. I am clear and knowing of the next step. I am making $15,000 a month in revenue. I am living a life of love and peace.
Examples of How Not to Set Intentions: I want Abundance. I don’t want to be broke anymore. I want to live a life of love. I want to make $15,000 a month in revenue.
Once you come up with your words or phrases, write them down, say them throughout the day, think about these desires regardless of what you see in you reality. If you create a vision board, put these words down or pictures that reflect these intentions. Put it somewhere you can see it on a daily basis.
Visualize. Close your eyes and see with your mind's eye what it is you have planted. See this new possibility in your imagination. See this potential as a reality. Feel it in all your being. This is the most important part. The feeling is what amplifies and activates the thought. What do you look like? What does your life look like? What are you wearing? What are the details? Pay close attention, sometimes these visualizations will tell you about what is needed, or not needed and can give you clues.
"Your thoughts are the electricity and your feelings are the magnet."
- Joe Dispenza
Pay Attention. Things in your external reality will begin to respond to you. You'll begin to see life corresponding to what you've "put out into the Universe"- whether it's an advertisement, a song, a conversation - the energy has begun to move. Continue to reel it in with love and gratitude. Keep going with utter faith that it's coming. Expect it.
You have everything you need. You are powerful beyond measure, all you have to do is get your mind to believe.
What intentions are you setting this year? Let me know in a comment down below! I’d love to hear about them! If you did a vision board, post a picture! I’d love to see it!
Emotional Awareness is the Key to Change
2018 has been all about emotional awareness for me. Getting control of my emotions - and now that I am finally in the driver's seat, I realize it's not my mind I had to master, it was my EMOTIONS that needed mastering. It is not what I thought about things, it is how I felt about them.
Something happened, I interpreted it based on my beliefs, assumptions, expectations, which caused a feeling, which drove my behavior. The feeling however is the magnet. It contains the charge which together with a thought creates an energetic reaction. I saw it over and over again. Not only was this the case, my emotions were what drove whether I had peace or not. And PEACE is PRICELESS. When I'm peaceful, I'm happy. When I'm peaceful, I'm calm, I'm creative, intuitive, I'm everything I want to be.
So I started to work on my emotions - how I felt about the facts in my life. I can't always change the facts, but I can change how I feel about them. And when I change how I feel about them, I affect them. I was able to change circumstances in my business by how I felt about them. I was able to wiggle out of challenges, create ideal outcomes just by changing how I felt about them. I was able to affect other people just by changing how I felt about them. Now, there were layers within these relationships that I once I dug in, I saw it led to unprocessed emotions, old memories and lots of unresolved feelings I had to face. But once I did - LIBERATION. And VOILA, it shifted like FUCKING MAGIC. Here's how it works:
Something happened years ago, and when you talk about it, you still get riled up by it. You can feel the emotional charge when you think about it. PERFECT thing to use. This tells me you have an unprocessed emotion in your body, an emotional charge which causes you to (1) get triggered whenever anything similar or that reminds you of this unconsciously (2) attract similiar patterns in your life - limiting opportunities for you to resolve this.
Example: You got hurt by someone in your past - an ex, a friend, a parent, a boss. What we want to do is neutralize the way you feel about this memory. Remember, it's just information, you are the one creating meaning behind it, which continues to cause you to suffer. Ways to do this is first forgiving yourself - did you have expectations about how you should've handled it, or what you should've done or not done?
Next forgive the other, try to see why this may have happened. When I started to learn about how the brain works, and how habitual we are, it helped me find compassion easily. What also helped was to see what I gained from the situation - remember it's a spiritual journey, one that we have chosen - taking responsibility for everything that comes into my awareness, helped me forgive and to neutralize any emotions I had.
Check in with yourself by thinking about it. It should drum up a feeling in the body - a sensation, pressure, anxiety - witness it, observe it without labeling it. By doing this, you claim power over the emotion. Repeat this exercise until the feeling goes away. What you focus on expands - so watch out because you may create more of the same in your reality. See it as an opportunity to resolve this. Take the challenge. It's a great thing - remember this is blocking you from inner peace and possibly your dreams. When you reclaim this attention, this power, you can use it to create.
Let me know how it goes in the comments or if you need further assistance! Some of the ways I used this was - financial abundance, forgiveness, people, compassion, marriage, children, clients, arguments, etc.
Embracing Vulnerability Can Be the Greatest Thing You Do
I've spent a HUGE part of my life worrying about what others think of me. Every decision in my life wondering what people will think of it. How will they react? Will they like it? Will it be too weird? Living my life for social acceptance. How exhausting! When I think back at my journey within this life theme, I have to say that becoming a mom was one of the biggest milestones that caused me to begin shifting out of this paralyzing state. Something shifted when I became a mom. Like I grew a set of confidence along with giving birth. I got so much courage when I realized I had someone else to live for. That was back in 2012.
Then I became an entrepreneur - like a real one. Owning my law firm from 2011 to 2015 didn't feel like entrepreneurship because the business was so big, together with the fact I had business partners. In 2015 when I became a solopreneur, where my personal brand - ME- became the product, I was forced to be open to the world. Now all of a sudden EVERYONE was watching - or so I thought in my mind. I remember just making the decision from law to awareness mentoring was filled with thoughts of fear and worry because of what people would think. Until I stopped caring and realized I could live this life for the world or I could live this life for me. So I jumped..
Along the way I stumbled along a superpower. Vulnerability. The first time I was every REALLY vulnerable was on a stage in front of 250 women in 2015 for my first speaking engagement. I opened the speech up in a mask, and let out all my fears. You can see the speech here. And what followed was so surprising for me - someone who had always been so afraid of connection, afraid of being seen - my imperfections, my journey, my humanity. Yet for some reason, it was inspiring. I saw tears in the audience. Connection. Truth. Women came up to me afterwards and told me their story, their feelings, and how by me sharing my story and my truth, it helped them see they weren't alone.
You see, vulnerability isn't a weakness. It's courageous. It takes courage to be who you really are. In an age where perfection is sold on the magazine stand, where social statuses are "liked", where we can control what people see - most of us don't post our bad days. We don't post pictures of ourselves without makeup, of our messy homes, or statuses of when we fucked up. We live in an age of facades. But if you bring it back to the beginning - children are vulnerable. They don't give a shit about what they wear, whether they have chocolate on their face, or what they say. They'll break down in a dance or a song in the supermarket, and wear crazy pants and tutu any day of the week. They show up in their truth even if it's melting down in public, no shame in their game.
Shame. Why we aren't vulnerable. Shame is learned. When did we become ashamed of being ourselves? Whatever happened, it's time to let it go. It's time to share ourselves to each other. Because that's all it takes. One person to reveal what's beneath the mask. One person to shine in their humanity for others to say, wow I can do this too. It feels good to be myself, and it's actually easier and less tiring to just be me.
So that's my commitment to you. To continue to be real. It's a daily practice. I still wear makeup. I still double think what I'm wearing - is it appropriate, will it make anyone uncomfortable. I still double read my posts, my blogs. But I share myself. I commit to sharing my journey. My mistakes. I'm working on the rest. I wear way less makeup - something I am doing for me and my daughter. And caring way less about what the world thinks. Where would we be if the visionaries of the world worried about what others thought? We would not be where we are today.
I will leave you with this quote by the beautiful Marianne Williamson, lead teacher of A Course in Miracles.
““Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ”
cultivating compassion and forgiveness for others.
It's such a hard thing to watch someone in your life stay stuck in their own situation. You can tell them how to change, what to shift, give them ideas and a way out - but most of the time, they need to see it for themselves first. Living in denial, this person begins to drown in their own story and misery, taking down anyone around them. What can you do?
I've been in this situation many times. I've seen people completely that are totally shut down where their mind is so rigid and closed that nothing can get in. I've seen another situation where the person is usually more open, but perhaps are suffering from a temporary lock down of the mind. Either way, you find yourself helpless, with no control, and the more you try to help, or change the other person, the more fight you get back.
What I've always recommended in these situations and what I do personally is remember how much can be done just within myself. I like to always bring it back to the spiritual journey. Seeing it from this lens takes the emotion of the situation, and stops me from taking anything personally. I remember to accept the situation as if I have chosen it, opening myself to learning the lesson, and seeing it as more of an assignment, rather than a personal 1 on 1 combat.
Now that I've calmed down, and opened up my heart a little bit, I remember that everything is energy - that we are all connected. And that MUCH can be done through me and within me, because I am a part of this person and they are a part of me.
So I start by holding up the mirror - what about this situation bothers me? How is it making me feel? Have I ever felt this way before and is it a recurring theme or pattern in my life? Have I ever been closed down, resistant, or stubborn about something in the past? How did I feel about being that way? I journey or self-reflect on these questions to see what within me created this situation. It has popped into my awareness for a reason, something within me emerging to the top has caused this to emerge in this individual, and now it has been brought to my attention.
Whether or not answers have been revealed to me, I start to send lovingkindness and compassion to this person and me - the parts of me that reflect in the mirror - the parts of them I am resisting. I might even do some forgiveness work or prayers like the ho'oponopono:
Step 1: Repentance – I’M SORRY
Step 2: Ask Forgiveness – PLEASE FORGIVE ME
Step 3: Gratitude – THANK YOU
Step 4: Love – I LOVE YOU
Where I go through each within myself or out loud, telling the person in my mind's eye and heart, that I'm sorry for not seeing them as the divine being they are, asking for forgiveness, thanking them for showing me where I can be better or be healed, and loving them for being a part of me.
Sometimes boundaries are needed - which can be done with power and love, rather than force and fight. The idea is to get yourself feeling better- raising your vibration about it, remembering who you are - source and love - and aligning yourself to it. I went through a phase of separating myself from those who drained me or left me feeling worse at some point in my life. But once I got strong enough and went through my own soul recovery, I came back to these people to bring the light.
It's not our job to save anyone. But they are in your life for a reason - that I am certain of. The universe does not waste a single particle. Meditate, listen to what speaks to you within, and trust it. You know what you need.
Sending you lots of love today xoxoxo
Curiosity.
There is a blindness in knowing.
The more we stay in our expertise, or the more we see life through the lens of "I know-it-all", things become second nature and we go into auto pilot. We take the space for granted and stop seeing the value in the world around us. Our defaults show up - whatever programs within us are usually active and commonly used, and so we see things as we've always seen them.
Expertise can be just knowing what's its like to be in your marriage, or owning your company. It is not necessarily expertise in a field of study, it could also be being an expert in being you, and living your life. You begin to stop seeing it as if it were your first time your first job or owning a business, or the first time you met your significant other. Instead, you know (or think you do) what its like, and expect it to be the same day in and day out - thus bringing the past into every moment.
Expertise can also be just living your life. I remember a moment I had on the sand in front of my condo. My daughter had just turned 2 and we were out enjoying the beach one evening after work. She picked up the sand in her little hand and stared out it, letting it run through fingers. So playful. So inquisitive. I remember thinking, when did sand become just sand for me?
It was such a pivotal moment for me, especially at that point in my life. I was practicing law at my law firm and things were starting to get routine for me. I was beginning to lose passion and felt lifeless. Bringing curiosity into my life allowed me to begin to see things half full rather than half empty. It made me overall happier, and fearless and from that state I was able to do what I had to do - leave law and start my life's mission. Because when we are curious, we are inquisitive. We are not afraid, we are trusting, relaxed and at ease.
What if you were able to see life with curiosity? Fearlessly flowing through life, looking at the moments of your life with imagination, magic, no judgment? Allowing each moment to unfold before your very eyes, trusting fully in the Universe and what it has for you. What if you could access that - time and time again.
I want to share a tool to help build your curiosity - it's foundation is in mindfulness and it super easy and practical. You'll learn tools just like this one in my retreat happening June 9 and 10.
Research suggests that approaching situations and others with curiosity can not only make them more enriching but help us experience more happiness in life. Sometimes routines or preconceived notions cause us to lose interest in an activity or experience, often before we’ve ever really given it a chance. By forcing ourselves to pay closer attention to it, we may cease to take its strengths for granted and start to appreciate its value. In her book On Become an Artist, Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer writes that, as she ran studies using this exercise, she found that “it became clear that taking notice of things expands our appreciation of them.
Choose an activity that you think you are not interested in or even dislike, such as a daily task or chore. Alternatively, you could try something out of the ordinary for you, like listening to a genre of music that’s not your favorite, eating a food you disliked as a child, watching a sport you think is boring, or learning a hobby you’ve never before found intriguing. Try to let go of any expectations, positive or negative, that you have about the experience. Simply keep an open, curious mind. While engaged in the activity, take note of at least three new things about it that you have never noticed before. You may find your preconceived ideas changing, opening up new possibilities for interest and enjoyment in your life. Even if not, you will have added a few new and interesting things to your catalog of experience.
Sometimes all that is needed is a shift of perspective - seeing life through a different lens to make it more enjoyable. We can't always immediately change our circumstances so why not try to enjoy it - the essential feelings of attracting and creating what you really want in your life.
I'd love to hear your experience with this exercise. Comment down below if you've used this and what you experienced!
Bloom Where You Are Planted
This statement has really hit home for me in the recent months. I've been trying more and more to accept my experience exactly as it is - something that has been very difficult for me in the past years. I have always been someone who has strived for excellence, to hit the next level, keep achieving. That sort of life can be very exciting but also very exhausting, as there is always something to achieve, always a level to hit. I didn't give up achieving or being excellent, but I did become more intentional about accepting everything in my life, not trying to change it, not trying to make it something different. Instead, trusting that if it has appeared, it is because it was supposed to. And instead of resisting it with emotion, or preference, I've learned to let it flow right through me.
An example of this has been health. In the recent months, both my kids and I have almost gotten sick multiple times. And by almost I mean, we begin to get symptoms - never turning into anything full blown. At the beginning of the year, I made an intention to begin to work on my own healing powers -something we all have access to. I believe in my own power as a creator, but I wanted to take it a step further and heal myself and my family.
Ask and you shall receive. This year we've already had run in's with different "bugs" and I've been treating them all the same - a technique that worked for me when I was feeling like I was coming down with something, and I've been using it ever since. The crazy thing is that it has been working, and I've been getting so connected it's almost nuts.
Let me explain. So let's use a past example. A few months ago, during the time of the flu outbreak- I began to hear stories of the flu everywhere. One day, I got brought down to my knees by something that appeared to be flu-like. I felt feverish, chills, pain in my body, and instantly I became "couched". I remember being so terrified because I started to think of my newborn and missing work, and everything that could potentially happen if I got sick with the flu for weeks, as so many people I had talked to had been. But then something happened. I remembered something. Oh shit. That's right. I am the motherfucking Universe! I can make anything I want happen. I can create my own reality.
So intuitively I began to connect to the alleged virus in my body. Instead of resisting it, fearing it, panicking, I sent it love. I told it I was sorry on behalf of humanity for people being so afraid of it, not seeing it for the divine being it was. (If you don't see God in all, you don't see God at all, right?) This little bugger was a part of me, and me of it. Oneness. I started to understand that it didn't know any better. It was programmed to survive. I saw an innocence within it. And I know it sounds nuts, but I deeply connected to it. Like it was a part of the Universe. BECAUSE IT IS!!
And guess what happened next?? Poof. It was gone. I got up off the damn couch minutes later like nothing had ever happened.
I know what you're thinking. Yeahhhh right. Ok I thought so too. Until I did it again. And again. And again. With pains, and aches and eyes, and shoulders, and stomachs. I did it to myself, my daughter, my son.
So yeah. We are pretty magnificent. Able to heal. Able to bloom. Accept it. You're amazing. Trust, allow. It's all right here for you.
xo
M
